Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Twenty: one to screw in the bulb, and nineteen to insist that Neil Peart would have done it better.

Okay, okay, that’s a very lame way of introducing a neat little college design project, a MIDI-controlled drum robot called P.E.A.R.T. No, it’s not a drum machine–it’s a machine that plays the drums.

I bet it can’t play “The Rhythm Method,” though.

Credit for the link to Slashdot; blame for the bad light bulb joke to a /. commenter…

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23 Responses to “Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

  1. Cybrludite Says:

    Looks like C.O.G.’s Drumbot has competition. Check him out by clicking on my name down below. (Of course, Drumbot’s an animation, but he’s still impressive to watch at the Consortium’s “lectures”…)

  2. denise Says:

    When I saw the reference to college and drummers, I thought it would be about this:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6205694/

  3. psece Says:

    Nice way to honor an incredible drummer. Maybe something to give him a smile after all the pain he has endured.

    Another song that it couldn’t play is Bravado off of Roll The Bones. The progressive 3 section offbeat is just awesome.

  4. Les Jones Says:

    A boy tells his mother, “When I grow up I want to be a musician.” His mother tells him, “Now, honey, you can’t do both.”

    What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.

    What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?
    Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo.

    What’s the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
    If you set them on fire the bassoon burns longer.

    What do you call someone who follows musicians around?
    A drummer.

    How does a bluegrass band know when the stage is level?
    Drool comes out of both corners of the banjo player’s mouth.

    What’s the difference between a musician and a government bond? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

  5. Joan Says:

    Psece, “Bravado” totally rocks.

    I sometimes fear I’m the only woman in existence who seriously digs Rush (the band, not Limbaugh, although I like him, too.) But then I realize it doesn’t matter at all. I likes what I likes, and that’s good enough for me.

    Cool post, though. The world is full of interesting people doing interesting things…

  6. OneDrummer Says:

    What do you call a drummer whose girlfriend breaks up with him?

    Homeless.

    Get that thing to play 2112, then I might be impressed…. 😉

  7. Jace Says:

    don’t get me wrong, it’s a cool device. But. Hasn’t Chuckie Cheese had things like this for years?

  8. Mike Says:

    What do you call a drummer with an IQ of 60? Gifted.

    How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One – and all he does is stand there holding it and let the world revolve around him.

    What’s a drummer get on his SATs? Drool.

    What’s the last thing a drummer says before being kicked out of the band? “Hey guys, howzabout we do one of my songs?”

    What’s a topless dancer do with her a**hole before she goes to work? Drops him off at band practice and gives him twenty dollars.

    And the all-time greatest musician joke ever: how many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb? One hundred: one to do the job, and the rest to write songs about how much they miss the old one.

    Thanks, folks, I’ll be here all week. 😉

  9. 357 Says:

    I thought it was 12: one to change it and 11 to argue about how Steve Gadd would’ve done it.

  10. Kase Says:

    I always thought the answer to the “how many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” joke was

    “None- they have machines that do that now.”

    And in the big list of drummer jokes above, add

    “How can you tell when the drum riser is level? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.”

  11. Will Collier Says:

    Well, there’s always the old standby answer to any “screw in a light bulb” joke:

    A: Two–but they have to be very small…

  12. DrSteve Says:

    But can it write lyrics?

  13. Rush Fan since '79 Says:

    But can it play Gene Krupa?

  14. John Irving Says:

    What do you call a long-haired guy who hangs out with musicians?
    A drummer.

    Neil Peart is amazing. Every tme I have seen Rush in concert I have been blown away by this trio. Not only would any “machine that plays drums” have trouble with 2112, Bravado, or The Rhythm Method, I couldn’t even imagine it playing the drum solos from any of their radio releases, particularly Tom Sawyer.

  15. Phil Smith Says:

    It’s not a realistic drum machine until it shows up late for gigs.

  16. Brian Hepler Says:

    Heh. More jokes for the fire:

    Q:What do you do with a muscian who can’t keep the beat?
    A: Give him two sticks and make him the drummer.

    Q: What do you do with a drummer who can’t keep the beat?
    A: Take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor.

    Q: And if that doesn’t work?
    A: Well, there’s always singing…

  17. Sam Allen Says:

    Man…being a Rush fan is kinda like being the “jewish friend” of that prejudiced kid on the old commercial….

  18. Les Jones Says:

    What’s the least-used sentence in the English language?
    “Isn’t that the banjo player’s Porsche?”

    What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
    “Will the defendant please rise?”

  19. eLarson Says:

    slash dot, eh? I used to read that back around September 10…

    Did the lightbulb joke get a “5: Funny” rating over there?

  20. DLE Says:

    And still the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame decides to ignore Rush.

  21. Becky in Ohio Says:

    Being married to a musician, and a bass player at that, for 15 years have given me some insights (and a thick skin):
    1. Every one of those stupid jokes is TRUE.
    2. Being married to a musician for 15 years is the equivalent of being in 15 different bands.
    3. Being married for 15 years to the SAME musician is apparently some sort of oddity.
    4. I have absolutely no hope of retiring early.
    5. The day that my wonderful hubby gives up his beloved music is the day I know that something is seriously wrong.

    Signed,

    The Ultimate Widow

  22. Les Jones Blog Says:

    Test Tube Baby of Musician Jokes

    Salvaged from this VodkaPundit thread. What do you call a musician whose girlfriend breaks up with him? Homeless. What do you call a drummer with an IQ of 60? Gifted. How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None- they have machines that…

  23. Rip Rowan Says:

    Bass player goes into the optometrist. The optometrist starts checking his vision. After a minute, the optometrist says, “son, you’re going to have to quit masturbating so much.”

    Bass player says, “Really? Is my eyesight that bad?”

    Optometrist says, “No, son, the patients in the waiting room were complaining about it.”

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