The Official Nelson Muntz “HA-Ha!” Gloating List

Feel free to make your own additions. To get the full effect, download this sound, and play it back it after reading each name:

Michael Moore (you lose again, lardass)
Terry McAuliffe (three elections, three losses; nice work)
George Soros (“I gave $27 million, and all I got was

75 Responses to “The Official Nelson Muntz “HA-Ha!” Gloating List”

  1. steve Says:

    You left out Zogby….

  2. David [.net] Says:

    Michael Moore (you lose again, lardass)

    …all the way to the bank.

  3. Kimberly Says:

    Wasn’t there a news report at some point last night about musicians tuning up to play at the victory rally for Kerry? My guess is they started setting up as the exit polls came back.

    The mental image of a bunch of disappointed musicians crying in their beer about not getting their victory rally show will keep a smile on my face all day long.

  4. Super Fly Says:

    There were only 135,000 provisional ballots cast in Ohio:

  5. Ken Summers Says:

    My tiny contribution to the gloating here.

  6. Nick Says:

    Letter Writers from the Guardian (“You’re welcome Bush”)

  7. Conservative Revolution Says:

    Gloat List

    Vodkapundit has a great “Gloat List”. Check it often, it looks like he is asking for contributions.


  8. SCO Says:

    KERRY LOST! Come on, say it with me: KERRY LOST, KERRY LOST! Now doesn’t that feel great.

  9. BillB from Says:

    Somewhere in California, Wil Wheaton is sobbing…

  10. Stephen Kohls Says:

    No gloating from me. I’m happy for the country, and happy that the right man won. Your list is composed of losers and watching their reactions over the next few weeks will be tonic enough for me.

    I’m disappointed by the MSM which lacked the guts to finally call the election last night. Even when Fox and NBC called Ohio, they kept hedging their bets. Russert kept showing his little chalkboard without the 20 EV’s.

    100,000 vote difference in Ohio? That’s 200 *times* the margin in Florida in 2000. It’s over.


  11. bbeck Says:

    John Kerry (“I concede. Wait, no I don’t…”)
    John Edwards (Go back to winning millions on your good looks and bad science)
    Al Franken (See George run. Run, George, run. John will run with George. See John race with George. Do you see them race? George wins the race. Good George! Poor John. — Is THAT clear enough for you, moron?)
    Rosie O’Donnell (Don’t worry, you can still b**** about the gay marriage thing)
    Janeanne Garafalo (Figured out how insignificant you are yet?)

  12. Freeman Says:

    Osama Bin Laden (we’re prepared to scour the earth for you, M***F**R)
    Iraqi Insurgents (we’re sticking around)

  13. Laurence Simon Says:

    Yasser Arafat
    Ted Rall
    Patti LaBelle, who was going to cry and cry and cry.

  14. Mike M Says:


    Mainstream media. Their impotence can no longer be disguised.

    Michael Moore. Fat’n’hype 9/11 will go down as one of the biggest jokes in movie history.

    The Democratic Party. Ouch. Just ouch. They got pounded across the board and losing Daschle was a huge psychological blow. They can get excited about Obama in about a decade but look around now and they have got nothing left.

    John Edwards. The new political definition of flash in the pan. Career over.

    Voter fraud. Not a single significant story about it anywhere.


    The United States. We have the first majority President in 16 years in an election that isn’t (and shouldn’t be) contested. The world’s efforts to infulence our election fell as flat as Osama’s October Surprise. That’s good for everyone.

  15. E. Nough Says:

    Don’t forget the Saudis and Hamas.

  16. respublica Says:

    What are they saying?

    Quick links to interesting views of yesterday’s election results. Have a look. From Vodkapundit: The Gloating List Ann Althouse. If you don’t read Ann Althouse you are missing some of the best writing on the internet. Alarming News: “Young people

  17. Paul Says:

    f**k you right-wing america, take that bible of yours and shove it up your ass.

    -the rest of the world

    P.S. the church and the state where separated 200 years ago, now it’s all back together in your country, just like say…. the taliban?

  18. Chris Says:

    From the frightening thought department….sometime this afternoon Hillary will start thinking about the 2008 Presidential race.

  19. John Irving Says:

    Hey Paul, maybe you missed it, but athiests and agnostics (like me) voted for Bush. There is no sudden religious leadership in the US, just in your fevered imaginations. Hope you don’t live in a terrorist-supporting country, or you’ll be hearing from us soon!

  20. Eric in Milwaukee Says:

    I agree, along with McAwful, Zogby’s political career is over.

    Biggest winner…Dewey! He is back in the headlines.

  21. CDR Will Says:

    Can you imagine the phone conversation between Al-Zarkawhi (Sp?) and say, Syria?

    Al-Z: Yes, this is, ah, Alli Zee, I would like to get a Visa to visit your fine country.

    Syrian Embassy: Who did you say this was?

    AZ: Oh yes, I almost forgot, (consults code card cleverly disguised as a cardboard toilet paper roll) ah, ‘Stay out a da Bushes’.

    SE: One moment please. (tappity-tap-tap-tap) I’m sorry sir, you’ve been placed on our do-not-call-list as of 0500 Greenwich time today.

    AZ: How can that be?

    SE: Sorry sir, perhaps you could try the Iranians. Good luck, and please don’t call here again. Buh-Bye.

  22. eyerocker Says:

    I waited and waited, listened and watched, by late there was no winner. I went to bed with visions of red. And woke to another day of dread.
    The democrats may steal
    like they tried before
    The republicans stand alone.
    So when sKerry says he is a winner
    reach back and throw that dog a bone

  23. RandMan Says:

    Don’t forget Bob Schrum. I don’t think he’s headed a winning campaign yet.

  24. Carin Says:

    Paul, when I start wearing a Burka to my Catholic church, perhaps your comment will make one iota of sense. My own parish was pretty divided.

    Really, the Dems have no one to blame but themselves. They picked an AWFUL candidate, and basically made deals with the devil as far as message.

  25. WhatsAPundit Says:

    Improving America

    A pundit doesn’t expect (alas) a mass emigration movement.

  26. paul Says:

    everybody who disagree with you is a terrorist john? then you’ll have to bomb half of your own country…

    PS: less CNN an Fox news is good for your brain…

  27. bb Says:

    Clark county, Ohio – the target of the Guardian’s letter-writing campaign – went for Bush.

  28. energyforcapital Says:

    Steve who? Let me get this straight, am I supposed to feel sad or ashamed of myself if Steve Crawford leaves the US?
    What? Was he like a vaccine inventor or something?


  29. daven Says:

    Let’s start a fund. All the whiners who are saying they want to leave the country can apply for a grant if they leave and renounce their citizenship.

    I’d love to donate to that.

  30. DaveP. Says:

    Paul: Remember, the razor goes DOWN the wrist and not ACROSS. Don’t bend your wrist back, because that puts the tendons in front of the arteries.

    Single-edged razors are better, too.

    Just a helpful suggestion, dude.

  31. Jim R Says:

    Paul, May the Lord Jesus Christ and his mother Mary show mercy on you mother f**king sorry ass.


  32. Physics Geek Says:


    Hit the road Jackass. Don’t you come back no more no more. Hit the road Jackass. Don’t you come back no more. What you say?! Update: Great minds think alike. Or this case, Will Collier and I are on the…

  33. REDUX Says:


    Will Collier begins “The Official Nelson Muntz ‘HA-Ha!’ Gloating List” to which I’d like to add: Al Franken (Time for Anger Management Classes) Joe Lockhart (No Puppets for You) Osama bin Laden (The Security of the American People is Not

  34. Rob Says:

    To: The rest of the world
    From: Right-wing America

    Bend over, here comes a bible up yo azz. Or would you prefer a Tomahawk missile?

    Kudos to Paul for giving me the idea. I’m not a believer, myself, but I do think that Hell is other people, and you are living proof.

    P.S. Brush your teeth.

  35. daven Says:

    The Dixie B*****s
    Richard Dreyfus
    Ted Kennedy
    Old, tired, morally bankrupt Europe
    Joe Lockhart
    Mary Beth Cahill
    Mrs. Loser Kerry
    Mrs. Loser Edwards
    Matt Damon
    Tom Daschle
    Juan Williams
    John Stewart
    Chris Matthews
    Katie Couric
    Matt Lauer

    oh, and while it still feels so good – hahahahahahahahaha, oh hahahahahahahaha, gasp, hahahahahaha, snort, hahahahahahaha

  36. Mike M Says:

    Oh, I forgot an important loser:

    The Vietnam War. The debacle that launched liberalism to the heights of power in this country should be buried for good.

    The circle closes with the defeat of the left’s ultimate war/anti-war hero candidate. Iraq will not become another Vietnam. There will be no draft. Vietnam will no longer be significant issue in American politics. Let it finally rest in peace.

  37. John Irving Says:

    Wow, Paul, you are seriously literacy-challenged aren’t you? Even Americans who voted for Kerry weren’t supporting terrorists (well, except for Michigan Fats). You might not even be, I figure its a good chance you’re not a terrorist supporter (although the fact that you lumped Saddam-supporting CNN with fairly right-wing Fox shows a serious lack of judgement. . . who do you recommend, Al Jazeera?). But if the country you live in is one of those providing funding and support to terrorists, might be time to move. Hell, move to the US, become a citizen, enjoy the most powerful economy in the world, and get to vote for who you’d like to be President. No downside!

  38. Dan Hughes Says:

    All the Elites who are “going to leave the country” …. pack your bags

  39. syn Says:


    Kerry campaigned many times from the Christian pulpits so by your account he should have won but instead, he LOST by a huge majority of American voters who hold a mulitutude of non-religious and religious beliefs.

    By the way, Kerry campaigning from the religious pulpit is clearly in direct violation of separation of church and state.

    Have no fear your AmeriKKK Kerry lost both the electorial vote AND the popular vote.

  40. D Says:

    The pollsters and their f–king 5% margins of error.

    Paraphrasing Alec Baldwin: “You can’t predict this race you can’t predict $h!t. You ARE $h!t! Hit the bricks, pal, and beat it ‘cuz YOU’RE GOING OUT!!!”

  41. Mind of Mog Says:

    Bush Won!

    A popular vote landslide as compared with recent elections, some 3.5 million popular votes. Note the MSM won’t admit he won Ohio, New Mexico and Iowa with 286 electoral college votes. Gloating Vodkapundit, a must read list. And from FoxNews, report tha…

  42. Laurence Simon Says:

    Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal

  43. David Blue Says:

    SCO: “KERRY LOST! Come on, say it with me: KERRY LOST, KERRY LOST! Now doesn’t that feel great.”

    I tried it, and it does feel great!

    But this feels even better: “BUSH WON!”

    For years this guy has resolutely defended his country (and in effect mine too – thank you America from OZ!) against terrorists and mad dictators, while continuously suffering every unfair attack possible. And he’s remained a gentlemen. He’s such a deserving winner.

    Apart from that: Swift Boat Veterans and POWs for Truth: rest easy at long, long last.

  44. Sandy P Says:

    Bubba and Skerry – poster boys for the boomer-straddling generation.

    Their 2 faces.

    I’m a tail-end boomer and am glad to see the back of them.

  45. Anonymous Says:

    I was waiting…

    but now I can unleash the venom. dKos says*:

    It’s over.

    For now.

    Well, Markos, this is for you and the rest of your ilk. Your candidate has infinitely more class than you guys could ever hope for.

    This one is also for everyone on …

  46. NDesai Says:

    Thank God there’s no reason for Eminem to believe he influenced a national election

  47. Whatsakyer? Animal? Vegetable? Mineral? Says:

    Kerry Calls Bush to Concede

    I definitely need some time for this to set in… Expect my post later on this evening when I take my first breath.

    Meanwhile, for those of you so inclined to gloat, Will over at Vodkapundit has one heck of a treat for you… (ahem…ERIC….ahem….

  48. Roderick Reilly Says:

    In regards to the National Post article about celebrities vowing to leave the country: Great idea!
    Since Europe is depopulating due to low birthrates, I think a whole lot more lefties besides the rich ones can move there, because they’ll have a serious higher-end labor shortage in Europe soon enough.

    Hey! Maybe I’ll move there too! I can then periodically needle my fellow expatriates in the local language!

  49. Mikey Says:

    Adios, M***** F******!

  50. Mikey Says:

    P.S. That last post is me waving good-bye to the planes leaving the airport, never to return.

  51. The LLama Butchers Says:

    The Nelson Muntz Game

    Okay folks, here it is: play the Nelson Muntz game over at VodkaPundit. Go over and leave crank posts at chateau Oliver Willis. Make Travelocity reservations for Robert Redford and Alec Baldwin, one way to exile. You have until 5pm…

  52. Norman Says:

    P. Diddy? Or is the new slogan now “Recount or Die?”

  53. Joan of Argghh! Says:

    We don’t need no stinkin’ pledges!

  54. Laurence Simon Says:

    Jimmy Breslin:,0,7396742.column

  55. cube Says:

    Happy, happy, joy, joy.

    Can’t get this goofy grin off my face when I think of all those libbies packing their bags & going abroad.

    Good riddance.


  56. Eric Says:

    My older brother
    The National Association of Letter Carriers
    Not to mention the rest of the AFL-CIO

    Dear Cameron Diaz, rape is still illegal

    Joe Lockhart, Mike McCurry, Tad Devine, and all the other slimy, ferret faced, liberal commentators on t.v.

    Will Alan Colmes show up to work tonight?

  57. annika's journal Says:


    Yes, i was right. Kiss my feet, because i was almost alone in my defiance of “the conventional wisdom.” (Which i recognized as liberal spin and never wisdom.) My confidence in the American people never wavered. i also don’t…

  58. Yumper Says:

    Too bad also for the:

    ABC / NBC / CBS Evening Views

    CNN World Views

    The New York Times / Los Angelos Times Viewspapers

  59. Joe Says:

    All you nice people know the liberal goo buckets aren’t going to pack anything and leave their comfy freedoms of America. They, like Kerry’s campaign, have criticzm but never a plan.

  60. Infidel Cowboy Says:

    Shout Out to the Moonbats

    Pink Floyd – Poles Apart Did you know…it was all going to go so wrong for you And did you see it was all going to be so right for me Why did they tell you then You were always…

  61. Infidel Cowboy Says:

    Shout Out to the Moonbats

    Pink Floyd – Poles Apart Did you know…it was all going to go so wrong for you And did you see it was all going to be so right for me Why did they tell you then You were always…

  62. Infidel Cowboy Says:

    Shout Out to the Moonbats

    Pink Floyd – Poles Apart Did you know…it was all going to go so wrong for you And did you see it was all going to be so right for me Why did they tell you then You were always…

  63. Joe's Daughter Says:

    Hopefully we will still have a comfy America after another four years of Bush. Start a Prayin!

  64. DaveP. Says:

    Joe’s Daughter: If by “a comfy America” you mean a dependant of the United Nations, instead of a soverign nation that takes its own risks and knows what the moral right is…

    Nope, won’t have one of them. Nice that you’ll be praying, though…

  65. Paul Says:

    sorry to burst your bubble righties but if you think your country’s future is looking bright, think again; yes the USA has grown into an economic and cultural empire but as with any empire, it’s on it’s decline, just like the roman empire. If you study history you’ll notice how the downfall of the romans match your present economical and political state (of course with modern communication an tech, it’a happening a lot faster to you) but remember, the USA represents 8% of the world’s population but it’s consuming 25% of it’s resources there’s an end to those resources in sight and China is the sleeping monster… better learn chineese soon and don’t think you’ll be able to restrain China and India once they wake up, (you can barely keep Bagdad safe… ask those kidnapped and beheaded poor fellas), do you think your unionized army will do much against 1,000,000,000 angry chineese?

  66. DaveP. Says:

    …does anyone else here want to mock Paul? I’ve had my turn, and frankly it’s too easy…

  67. Joe's Daughter Says:


  68. Clinton, Anyone? Says:

    I’m registered Independent, which is code for “it’s hard enough to choose between 2 bad candidates…I don’t want to choose from 12 during the primaries”.

    I amazes me that there are people in this country who actually believe Bush has been good for the country. Let’s list his accomplishments:
    1) Alienate our potential allies, so much so that many refuse to openly support, and some openly oppose the US.
    2) Begin two armed conflicts, which he has most inconveniently forgotten to end. Exit strategy, anyone?
    3) Sent jobs overseas.
    4) Watched the deficit spiral out of control.
    5) Watched healthcare costs soar.

    Was Kerry the best man for the job? Probably not. Was he better for the country than another four years of Bush? In my opinion, yes.

    Oh, and by the way, to make it a little easier for DaveP., whom I suspect will take whatever pot shots he can until he resorts to petty name calling, I would have voted for Clinton (Bill OR Hillary) in a heartbeat if that had been an option.

  69. Jim R Says:

    The one most important reason for a Bush win is the ‘message’ the American sent to the free world and the terrorist world.

    Imagine the message that we would have sent if Kerry had won after Osama’s message to the free world.
    The free world and Osama would have assumed his message affected the election in largest and most powerful Nation in the free world.

  70. paul Says:

    you’re right jim, the osama tape probably made a lot of people vote for bush (although i’m shure he wanted to have the opposite effect), anybody who’s told to do someting by their ennemy or by a neighbor (guardian letters) will immediately do the opposite for shure (even if it defies logic).

    I read a lot of people here who say they’re proud to be american, they should nuke this or that country, they’re gonna shove it down the throat of anyone who disagree with them… etc etc…, but why is it that every time those same people travel abroad (if they even dare to travel the world in something else than a tank), they’re always putting a canadian flag on their backpack?

  71. Clinton, Anyone? Says:

    Y’know, the ‘Canadian flag on their backpack’ issue is exactly why I didn’t vote for Bush. The world is a scary and dangerous place if you’re an American. There really aren’t that many places in the world where Americans are welcomed with open arms anymore. Having a loose cannon who thumbs his nose at our allies for a leader is not going to fix that. In fact, I believe that Bush’s arrogance is making it easier for our enemies to further villify our country in the eyes of the rest of the world.

    Regardless of the outcome of the election, I don’t think anyone in the world can deny that the terrorists DID affect it. Many of the voters made their decision based on Bush’s handling of world affairs. They either voted FOR Bush because the believe he’s the right man to flush out the terrorists, or AGAINST him because they think he’s bungling the whole affair.

    What message did we send? How do you know bin Laden wanted Kerry elected? Maybe he wanted us to do exactly what we did — re-elect Bush. Remember, part of that message was that his goal was to bankrupt the US, which Bush seems all too willing to accommodate.

  72. Nomad Says:

    Back on track.

    I would like to gloat, however briefly over:

    1. The denizens at Daily Kos and Democratic Underground (try and tell us this was a stolen election, please).

    2. Chirac, Schroeder, Arafat, Annan, (You sincerely want to work together, now? Good to know. Thank you. Now take your olive branches and shove them up your collective *sses)

  73. Les Jones Blog Says:

    Fleeing to Canada for Excitable Liberal Dummies

    Hey, excitable liberals! Thinking of moving to Canada to escape the concentration camps of Bushaliburton’s Christian Reich? Here’s some helpful advice to expedite your departure. Step 1. Learn to speak Canadian. Step 2. Pack a swimsuit and sunscreen. I…

  74. Mike S Says:

    Paul et al,
    The world was never safe for Americans or Canadiens. Hell, it has never been safe for anyone who wasn’t ready to shoot the next pirate or bushwhacker that tried to kill him and take his stuff.

    Barbary pirates ring a bell? That has been the norm during the entire history of the human race.

    Get your head out of your ass, read a history book printed more that 50 years ago and quit your freaking whining.

    …buncha ignorant whining f*cks…

  75. Joe's Daughter Says:

    Give me a break! No facts just name calling by every single one of you. No wonder you support Bush!

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