May His First Day In Hell Last 1,000 Years

…. and may it be the shortest.

ABC reports Arafat is dead. I hope the murderous thug was coherent long enough to comprehend Bush’s victory.

UPDATE: The hospital in Paris denies it.

My earlier sentiments are unchanged either way.

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47 Responses to “May His First Day In Hell Last 1,000 Years”

  1. Sleeper Says:

    Don’t mean to burst your bubble but Yahoo says he’s alive.

  2. Frank Martin Says:

    Ok, NOW Im gloating….

    Can we get Castro to take the dirt nap by friday for the perfect trifecta?

    sic semper tyrannus!

  3. rick_2g Says:

    matter of time… if he’s clinically dead, then they can probably keep him “alive” for decades if they so choose. the slower and more painful, the better, afaic. here’s to hoping.

  4. Julie Says:

    “hey can probably keep him “alive” for decades”

    I just had a terrible “FUTURAMA” vision. Aaiiiiiieeeee!

  5. Aaron Hood Says:

    Factors:

    – Arafats death
    – Secruity Fence
    – Pullout of Gaza

    Everything will change soon.

    Iraq is holding the satus quo with Israel until elections. What happens then is going to be HUGE.

  6. Swanky Conservative Says:

    Arafat dead? Or in a coma?

    This was posted on a discussion forum earlier this morning when reports of Arafat being in a coma started surfacing. I thought it was awesome and laughed out loud:

    Terrorist in a coma, I know, I know it’s serious…

    And now I’m hearing reports …

  7. Jim K Says:

    Two things come to mind …
    1) Bush winning caused the coma.
    2) The old SNL line, “this just in, Francisco Franco is still…”.

  8. Gary Says:

    Again, the respect shown Arafat by the MSM speaks volumes. WIll they wake up too late?

  9. Steve Says:

    The Dead Collector : Bring out yer dead.
    [a man puts a body on the cart]
    Large Man with Dead Body : Here’s one.
    The Dead Collector : That’ll be ninepence.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I’m not dead.
    The Dead Collector : What?
    Large Man with Dead Body : Nothing. There’s your ninepence.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I’m not dead.
    The Dead Collector : ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Yes he is.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I’m not.
    The Dead Collector : He isn’t.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I’m getting better.
    Large Man with Dead Body : No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.
    The Dead Collector : Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I don’t want to go on the cart.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Oh, don’t be such a baby.
    The Dead Collector : I can’t take him.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I feel fine.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Oh, do me a favor.
    The Dead Collector : I can’t.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long.
    The Dead Collector : I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Well, when’s your next round?
    The Dead Collector : Thursday.
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I think I’ll go for a walk.
    Large Man with Dead Body : You’re not fooling anyone, you know. Isn’t there anything you could do?
    The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t : I feel happy. I feel happy.
    [the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
    Large Man with Dead Body : Ah, thank you very much.
    The Dead Collector : Not at all. See you on Thursday.
    Large Man with Dead Body : Right.

  10. Anty Says:

    I think that he knew he was dying. And he had to get to Paris to sign some “financial” papers so that all of his secret accounts could be claimed.

    Ant

  11. Mike Says:

    Man: (entering a shop) Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker’s?
    Undertaker: Yup, that’s right, what can I do for you, squire?
    Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. Chairman Arafat has just died and I’m not quite sure what I should do.
    Undertaker: Ah, well, we can ‘elp you. We deal with stiffs.
    Man: (aghast) Stiffs?
    Undertaker: Yea. Now there’s three things we can do with the old Arafish. We can bury ‘im, burn ‘im, or dump ‘im.
    Man: Dump him?
    Undertaker: Dump ‘im in the Dead Sea. Little joke, that.
    Man: (still aghast) What?
    Undertaker: Oh, did you like him?
    Man: Yes! He was the duly elected President of Palestine and a valuable partner for peace!
    Undertaker: Oh, President Carter! Sorry, sir, did’n’ recognize you. Oh well, we won’t dump him, then. Well, what do you think: burn him, or bury him?
    Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
    Undertaker: Well they’re both nasty. If we burn him, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if he’s not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can put in an honored place at the Carter peace Center.
    Man: (timidly) Oh.
    Undertaker: Or, if you don’t wanna fry ‘im, you can bury ‘im. And then he’ll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which, again, is a bit of a shock if, as I said, he’s not quite dead.
    Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I’m not very sure. He’s definitely dead.
    Undertaker: Where is he?
    Man: Paris.
    . . .

  12. Princess Kimberley Says:

    *Cautiously looks around*
    *Snoopy Dance*
    *giggle*

    Could this week get any farkin’ better?

  13. Robert Says:

    Let’s see:
    October: Yankees lose, my truck radio gets stolen.
    November: Bush wins, Arafat’s sinking fast.
    November is definitely a much better month.

  14. Stephen Says:

    French medicine can’t do anything…..for him.

    Wonder if the five Iraqis with new fully articulate American hands will be applauding Yassir’s demise.

  15. caltechgirl Says:

    Gotta say, the French denials are SO strong it must be true. Good Riddance, terrorist.

  16. A Recovering Liberal Says:

    Wow, Monty Python and Princess Bride in the comments today. Lovely (c:

  17. ricky Says:

    Paris Hospital… They were the ones that couldn’t figure out what killed Jim Morrison… or covered it up and helped him slip out of sight… Must stop reading conspiracy blogs…

  18. Easycure Says:

    I hope he’s still alive, can still feel pain and has a kidney stone the size of a golf ball in conjunction with a very bad urinary tract infection.

    F*ckwad.

  19. gb_in_ga Says:

    Ok, how ’bout this:

    McCoy: “He’s dead, Jim.”

    Kirk: “Bones, do something!”

    McCoy: “Sorry, Jim, there isn

  20. Drew Says:

    Oh, poor wittle Arafat….he never got to be a martyr.

    No virgins for him.

  21. Duke DeLand Says:

    My God, how we trample upon the graves of the persons we detest!

    I have a HATE factor of 10 for Arafat, but let the man die in peace…his absence will be enough!

    He has lived beyond his years… He is going to be reviled by the pro-Isreali people….
    He is going to be given special status by the Demo/Liberal people…watch!

  22. baldilocks Says:

    Is He or Isn’t He?

    Has anyone been so long rumored to be dying of more opaque circumstances?But Palestinian Prime Minister Ahmed Qurie denied the report, saying: “I have just spoken to the officials in Paris and they say the situation is still as it

  23. tomy Says:

    PARTY!!!!!!!!!

    Don’t worry! It will get better!

    There’s also Fallujah!

    And all those palasimians killing each other!!!!

    Is this a great month or what!!!!

  24. rick_2g Says:

    “My God, how we trample upon the graves of the persons we detest!”

    trample on graves? me? god forbid and heaven forgive.

    i know it’s merely wishful thinking on my part, but what i’m really wishing is for a suicide bomber to make a spectacular cameo smack dab in the middle of his inevitable funeral procession.

    THAT would be justice.

  25. unixdude Says:

    Could he have gone to Paris to surrender? I hear they’re good at that there.

  26. gary Says:

    I hope they let old Ararat sit out in the sun and bake a while. Bodies tend to fill with Methane gas after death. Then slip a timed fuse up his old kiester and just about the time they take his body off the plane in Gaza…BLOOEY!!!!!
    The ultimate human bomb!!!!

  27. eieio Says:

    Shit decays based on the environment it us is expelled in. I vote for leaving that festering pile in France where it belongs.

  28. gary Says:

    eieio: Were it not for that fact that I would like to see his remains slattered all over Gaza I would agree with you.

  29. Andy B Says:

    These statements sound like a Keystone Kops skit:Luxembourg Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker told reporters at a summit of European leaders in Belgium that Arafat had died. He later retracted the statement.
    “It was a misunderstanding,” Luxembourg government spokesman Lucien Michels said.Not to be outdone, the French added a healthy dollop of obfuscation:”Mr. Arafat is not dead, the clinical situation of the first few days following admission has become more complex.”

  30. (the other) John Hawkins Says:

    So, now the problem seems to be that nobody but ol’ Arafat knows the Swiss bank account codes. The PA is broke!

    Well, I guess that’s another way to cut off terrorist funding…

  31. Burt Says:

    Can our troubled world afford to lose a Nobel Laureate?

  32. Miss O'Hara Says:

    ‘Tis cruel, but not only do I hope he was coherent enough to savor Bush’s relection, I hope he’s heard the numbers…

    …too bad Israel didn’t manage to take him out. Or something. A French hospital is way too good for him.

  33. McGehee Says:

    trample on graves?

    Not me. By definition, Arafat’s grave will be a toxic waste dump. I wouldn’t use the grass on his grave to wipe dog crap off my shoe — dog crap deserves better.

  34. Chris Says:

    I don’t have the power to condemn anyone to hell, or to speak on behalf of those who will stand in judgment. But I will say this: if Arafat DOESN’T go to Hell, then nobody else should ever have to either.

  35. Michelle Says:

    Monty Python, Princess Bride, Star Trek…

    “I say we nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

    This is fun!!

  36. Electric Venom Says:

    Arafat Death Watch

    As the Arafat Death Watch continues, ABC is running this headline:

    France Doctors Fight to Keep Arafat Alive As Palestinian Officials Looked for Ways to Avoid Unrest

    How ironic that this is what France decides to fight for, no?

    UPDATE: VodkaPu…

  37. TomS Says:

    I’m in London watching UK TV. CNN International is treating the little s*itbag like a rock star locked away in the Betty Ford Center on a drug overdose. May the f*cking terrorist die and rot in Islamic Hell. Any guess as to how many Israeli lives have been lost by the “leadership” of this worm? And Jerk Chirac actually visited the twerp and held his hand!!

  38. Patrick Chester Says:

    So he’s still mostly dead? When can we search his pockets for loose Swiss bank account numbers?

  39. This isn’t writing, it’s typing. Says:

    Arafat death watch

    Okay, I know I screwed up on the whole bin Laden thing. But I’m going to try to make it up to you with Arafat. The latest poop I have says he’s still got a pulse. In fact, according to Reuters, he’s not even in a coma. (If you’re really anxious to kno…

  40. Darleen Says:

    He’s not pinin’! He’s passed on! This terrorist is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed him to the perch he’d be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-TERRORIST!!
    …………..

    Damnation, I’ve got an unopened bottle of Tanqueray waiting for the official word of his demise.

    Faster, please.

  41. Lloyd Says:

    David Frum has informed speculation that ol Yasser actually has AIDS. Israelinsider has the sordid details. No offense, certainly to AIDS sufferers and family members… but is this too delicious or what! As Frum points out, the interesting thing is that the leak details of Yasser’s true affliction appear to be coming from the PLO. Perhaps an advent of a Kruschevlike outing of Arafat to discredit his legacy and unpoison the well. Anyways, this makes sense on many different levels.

  42. The Jawa Report Says:

    Zombie Arafat Dead (Again…sort of)

    Arafat is said to be dead, again. You ever notice how the living dead never really die? Personally, I blame the worcester sauce. What will be Arafat’s last words? That’s easy. Via Jeff Quinton this news (or something like it)…

  43. Robertovich Says:

    On my iPod I just listened to “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers as that’s where Arafish is now (or soon?).

  44. Um Yeah Says:

    How many Nobel Peace Prizes has your Resident-Select Chimpy won?

  45. mls Says:

    I think you may be being too nice.

  46. David Says:

    Saw some video on Fox News today . . . they are using a front loader to move scrap metal and garbage from where he is going to be buried . . .

    Question I have is why clean it up just to throw in more trash?

  47. David Says:

    Arafat is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!!

    Assuming anyone in France knows how to take a pulse . . .

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