You Never Can Tell

Trolling through the recesses of the Blogosphere, you run into some pretty strange stuff. Take this yahoo, known as “Irate Savant.” He’s either the most simultaneously pompous and pathetic tool on the planet (he claims to be a misunderstood genius, but his job is antique store clerk), an utter loon, or a shameless con artist.

Any which way you choose, it’s pretty darn entertaining reading, but way out on the weird side. The comments are a real hoot; the Savant’s readers aren’t shy about pointing out his shortcomings. A strong tolerance for high-fallutin’ language is recommended…


38 Responses to “You Never Can Tell”

  1. David Says:

    I think I remember stumbling across this blog a few days ago (I started my own blog last week and was looking for templates) and just as quickly stumbled out of it, but I revisited it after seeing your comments.

    While I am not a fan of porn, I think I would rather know the guy who collected it than the guy who makes fun of his sister’s husband for collecting it . . . especially after they gave him a $2000 laptop.

    What a prize this guy is . . .

  2. Jeff Harrell Says:

    Hey, Collier lives. Green is still absent without leave, though, I’m disappointed to see.

  3. Jeff Harrell Says:

    In my joy at seeing signs of life from the Vodkapundits (collectively), I sorta forgot to mention the thing I was commenting to mention.

    This may be a sign of some sort of early-onset neurological disorder on my part. Send help.

    Anyway, my point was this: white type on a black background is not a sign of intelligence. I honestly couldn’t say which one inspired me to close the window first: the kid’s obvious banality, or me clawing at my face screaming “MY EYES! MY PRECIOUS EYES!”

    But it was one of those.

  4. Tom Says:

    This guy is Ignatius Riley incarnate.(anyone remember “A Confederacy of Dunces” anymore?)

  5. Damian Says:

    The curse of the anecdote….the blog readers obvious addiction…LOL

    This guy mainlines Mervyn Peake’s “Gormengast” and Oscar Wilde type descriptive predilections with a healthy dose of “Ulysses” abstractness.

    Entertaining stuff……but maybe it is a woman writing?…..who knows?….who cares??

  6. Damian Says:

    I just read Tom’s post, and he is right… is “A Confederacy of Dunces” all over

  7. The Parson Says:

    Hey, Will–troll over to my blog if you’re trolling.

    (And from a former Birminghamer, congrats on the Tigers’ season. I hope they take it all. [And yes, I do gloat when the Pride of Bryant tailspins. . . .])

  8. mark tomeo Says:

    Tom and Damian nailed it. This guy has read and reread “A Confederacy of Dunces” way too many times. I expect a post about his valve any time now.

  9. rick_2g Says:

    i didn’t notice it until it was pointed out by other posters, but yeah… it’s ignatius redux.

    ‘course… it’s POSSIBLE that…

    nah. it’s gotta be satirical. i refuse to believe that a twit capable of that kind of mental masturbation exists.

    OTOH, every time i say “i refuse to believe”…

    ok… gonna end this post before i refute myself again.

  10. Mike Says:

    And another philosophy major enters the job market. Its always fun to check out their favorite books. Pretentious French (bonus points for Swiss) book: check (x2), Esoteric classic usually Wilde or Thoreau -Walden does not count-: check (bonus points for choosing Burton), Sci-Fi pretending as great literature (Moorcock, non-Elric, is the preferred choice): check although he did pick one of the better ones. Then he tacks on the Avengers? I think he hurt my head.

  11. Terry Says:

    Reminds me the protagonist in Michael McDowell’s novel “Topper”. Erudite, superior, and quite mad. It’s a good book but . . . odd. McDowell’s most famous for co-writing the screenplay for Tim Burton’s film ‘Beetlejuice’.

  12. Terry Says:

    Ooops! The McDowell novel is called “Toplin”.

  13. David Says:

    Well heck, if we are trolling for visitors, come on over to my new blog at

    It may never be worth quoting, but everyone likes to see their visitor meter click upwards.

  14. Jeff Harrell Says:

    I’m tempted to agree with those up yonder who suggested that this must be satire, but then I remembered

  15. JohnL Says:

    Reminds me a little of H.P. Lovecraft.

  16. The Fat Guy Says:

    More Funnee, Meesta Man

    It’s like the demon spawn of Jim Bob Wolcott and AC Douglas. If it ain’t a spoof, I’ll eat this…

  17. m Says:

    Why do you troll through the recesses of the blogosphere?
    Look what it gets you.

  18. Doug Says:

    If this is not a spoof blog, I’m surprised. The fellow is a living caricature. His discourses on Catholicism are either excellent satire or a cry for help.

  19. Doug Says:

    And for the record, I’m leaning to the “excellent satire” side.

  20. random prose Says:

    hey i discovered this guy first!!

  21. random prose Says:

    i demand linkage! 🙂

  22. Carl Says:

    What the hell does “glabrescent” mean???

  23. stombs Says:

    “Glabrescent” — “nearly hairless,” a term from botany. Talk about pretentious.

  24. Freeman Says:

    Satire. Funny.

  25. Joe Says:

    Reminds me of the Adrian Mole diaries, but funnier.

  26. Dacotti Says:

    Terry’s hit it on the head…

    “Reminds me the protagonist in Michael McDowell’s novel “Topper”. Erudite, superior, and quite mad.”

    The guy is developing a character for a novel. A pathetic, under-employed, over-educated metrosexual who blows every opportunity to “close the deal” because he must return to his womb-like lair to over analyze the object of his obsession.

  27. Patrick Says:

    Somebody needs to call the police before that woman ends up in his basement with his other victims.

  28. ben Says:

    I’m voting for clever satire. A little Ignatius Reilly, lots of trolling, ultimately he gets a batch of fist-shaking spittle-flecked comments which he leaves. Also see Root, Henry.

    Come on. Left turn signals? Movie reviews? Cute chick gives him a ride to Target? My job sucks? It’s the same blog two hundred thousand other people are writing, only he’s found a way to add a wink and a maddening but compelling narrator. I’d give odds he’s related to the Abercrombie Chick.

    Shiat now I’m startin’ to sound like him.

  29. random prose Says:

    I don’t think this guy is satirical. Last week he made a couple of typically-pretentious comments on my blog, under the name “Irate Savant”, but with no link to his blog. There would be no point in perpetrating such a charade on my blog if people could not easily access his site (and he would choose a more popular blog than mine for exposure).

    Still, he’s quite the enigma.

  30. HoustonF Says:

    I haven’t read Confederacy of Dunces, so I can’t comment on his likeness to the character in that book. Personally, I find it impossible to read this guy’s writing without “hearing” it read in the voice of the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

    “This is a very rare copy of Mary Worth, where she advises a friend to commit suicide.”

  31. Bill Chadwick Says:

    I find Dacotti’s remarks interesting and disturbing, because they could pretty much be describing me, and I like to think I’ve got a lot more on the ball than either “Savant” or “Comic-Book Guy.” Actually, they could be describing a lot of people I know, the Forgotten Under-Achievers of the Baby Boom Generation: repelled and/or bored by the business world (even those of us who are ardently pro-capitalism), who never achieved their goals of success in the artistic world, and so end up working in lower-echelon jobs. We’re often described as “over-educated,” and yet that term has always mystified me. How can one have too much education? Can Dacotti or someone else please clarify?

  32. kim Says:

    Finally, a little more geometry in this world.

  33. Pamela Says:

    “antique store clerk”

    Is that a clerk working in an antique store or an antique clerk working in a store?

  34. HoustonF Says:

    After now reading every post the Savant has made, I’m convinced this is a brilliantly conceived satire of a character. It even has a bit of Lovecraftian intrigue (mysterious, possibly non-human visitors to the antique store), and even a developing romantic interest for good measure. It’s like reading a serialized novel and I eagerly await new installments.

  35. Beryl Gray Says:

    If you are fans of Chris Onstad’s “Achewood” ( you will be amazed by Irate Savant’s resemblance to Pat’s blog:

    The resemblance is creepy. The eyes-follow-you-around-the-room creepy.

  36. Winds of Change.NET Says:

    You Decide

    Via Vodkapundit (how fun that is to say!), a blog that deserves wider attention – but positive, or negative, I can’t yet say. Meet the Irate Savant – either a truly odd person writing a…

  37. jean-paul Says:

    “It’s like reading a serialized novel and I eagerly await new installments.”

    If he would shut up about Guatemalan/Lebanese/whatever food and just take the girl out, it’d be a lot better. I can’t wait for the description of their ‘date.’

  38. Esteban / Whitman Says:

    el tipo es una herramienta

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