And Lo, In The Sixth Month There Cameth The Screedblog…

… and there was much rejoicing.

Yes, that’s right folks, Lileks is putting out two, count ’em–two blogs for the price of none, with the happy-go-lucky Bleat now joined by something a bit more pointed. From today’s inaugural Screedblog:

I can imagine in late 2001 asking a question of myself in 2005:

What the main story? The smallpox quarantine? Fallout from the Iranian – Israeli exchange contaminating Indian crops? A series of bombings in heartland malls?

“Well, no – the big story today has to do with soldiers mishandling terrorists’ holy texts at a detention center.”

Mishandling? How? Like, you mean, they opened it up without first checking to see if it was ticking, and it blew up –

“No, they handled it in a way that disrespected it. Infidels are supposed to use gloves.”

Oh. So we lost, then.

Don’t get me wrong. I want us to do the right thing. I don’t think there should be a policy that permits interrogators to treat the Qur’an like it was, oh, a Bible discovered in the Saudi airport customs line. But when it comes to the revelations of these Gitmo tales, I cannot care as much as they would like me to care. I cannot. Not to say we should treat the Qur’an with casual disrespect. But if an infidel touches the book with the wrong hand and people react like a two-year-old whose peas are touching the mashed potatoes, well, I understand why this matters, but when measured against the sins of headchoppery and carbombs, it pales to an evanescent translucence. Odd how the story isn’t about the rules and the precautions and the spine-cracking efforts to bend over backwards to make sure infidels get out the tongs when approaching the sacred book of the terrori – sorry, the detainees – Sorry, the murderous gynophobic gay-hating fundamentalist theocratic cultural imperialists. No, the story is the infinitesimal number of times in which the rules were breached over the course of years. It’s like doing a story about Wal-Mart’s employment practices, and following a story about forced overtime with an expose on expired non-dairy creamers in the breakroom. By hammering the tale for three weeks the MSM manages to dilute the impact of the beloved Abu Grabass scandal; pyramidal prisoners, wafting pee – all the same, all front page news. Of course, it’s all a seamless whole if your intention is to remind people of the three basic preconceptions of reporting on a war conducted by anyone whose initials aren’t JFK: the Pentagon lies, the troops are dullards and brutes, and Nixon is a criminal.


12 Responses to “And Lo, In The Sixth Month There Cameth The Screedblog…”

  1. BIllB Says:

    Good stuff. Maybe next he’ll go off about the media’s failure to explain why the entire country should get minute to minute updates about a certain missing person’s case in Aruba (when several hundred others go missing in anonymity daily.) So many screeds, so little time.

  2. Rob Says:

    Lileks is his funniest when he takes the Gnat gloves off and lets ‘er rip.

  3. Kelly Says:

    Love Lileks’. I might have said “a Bible discovered in a Manhattan high school locker”, as I suspect the book’s treatment there would be similar to the Saudi airport customs line. But then, I’m a hack and Lileks’ is a writer.

  4. RPD Says:

    I wonder how often he’ll post, or keep it up. He’s got the Bleat, Screed, Joe Ohio, Backfence, Newhouse, and his bookwork. At some point his cup has got to runneth over. And five column Tuesday? Oh my.

  5. Will Collier Says:

    I don’t think the Screedblog is going to get a daily update like the Bleat, although I certainly wouldn’t complain if that happened, or if it became more of a “regular” blog, i.e., with updates as the fancy strikes James vs. once a day/week/whatever.

  6. voxdilecti Says:

    I concur “BIUB,” but whenever anything happens to white girls, the nation automatically goes to Code Red.
    I dont mean to sound like a total prick or downplay the situation, I hope she is alright somehow, but the very reason why this is news is because it feeds off of the at times ugly yet ingrained logic we all have as human beings: a young pretty and vulnerable girl in a foreign country amoung older men of not only a different race and nationality but also social standing can prick all too sharply within the subconcious and thus stereotypes of caucasians.
    Thus, it is “news” – whereas it is much easier to forget the myriad of faces on milk cartons when you have a sinister scenario to dwell on. I mean, did anyone read Othello? This is precisely the psychological stimulation the Iago used to lure out Desdemona’s father in full wrath in his first attempt to destroy Othello: “an old black ram is tupping your white ewe” etc.
    Regardless of race, the combination of kidnapping and rape and possibly murder in a foreign country will bring this to the national headlines regardless. If we dont see a 20/20 or ABC Primetime or Lifetime Original Movies on this story in 4 months I will be beyond shocked.

    …oh, and back to the original topic, yeah the media sucks.

  7. Garrett Says:

    As Mischelle over at ASV might say, Lileks ate my brains!

  8. rbj Says:

    Mmmmm, screedy Lileks, ghaaaaah. [drool]

  9. richard mcenroe Says:

    RPD — That’s why the Lord gave us Benzedrine…

  10. Jason Newcomb Says:

    “…oh, and back to the original topic, yeah the media sucks.”

    Yeah. What you and he said.

  11. Improbulus Maximus Says:

    Jason, they don’t just suck, they hate America and want to see it fall. They are traitors and should get what traitors traditionally get.

  12. Dan Up, Baby! Says:

    A chance to headline a movie with J-Lo?

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