A Nude Erection For America

Okay, just back off. That’s the only joke about the Democrats’ most recent slogan (“A New Direction For America”) and policy paper that Lileks didn’t manage to work in to his latest Newhouse column. Sure, it’s tasteless, but I don’t get many chances to one-up James, and I’m taking my shot while the target is in sight.

A couple of highlights that did make it in:

The minimum wage was indeed a New Direction — last century, anyway. But when the unofficial GOP slogan is “Fight and win the War on Terror by blowing up more bad guys real good,” a call for a wage boost is like running against FDR with a pledge to reduce postal rates.

“Ensure Dignified Retirement.” Again, sounds great. Mandatory fedoras for men; a 50 percent reduction in Viagra commercials. But no: The Democrats wish to “prevent the privatization of Social Security,” because you cannot be trusted with your own money. It’s an interesting definition of dignity: waiting by the mailbox for your government check.

Suffice to say, you should read the whole thing. Bonus kudos to Lileks for working in an SCTV Farm Film Report reference. We really can’t have enough of those.


3 Responses to “A Nude Erection For America”

  1. aaron Says:

    We’re supposed to drop what were doing after 230 years? Fuck that.

  2. ed in texas Says:

    Speaking of viagra commercials. Or not.
    Does anybody know what the deal is with cialis commercials and bathtubs? Did I miss some sly phamacutical allusion? Or should I read the instructions closer?

  3. Some guy Says:

    A Nude Erection for America is the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life. Even days afterwards, I break into laughter out loud when I think of it. So does my wife. I believe that TV news anchors will also spontaneously break into laughter whenever they say it. This will cost the Democrats massive losses in the fall.

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