Archive for the ‘Wit’ Category

Beat the Hsiffies! Buy Bonds!

December 8, 2008

Heh:

– Rep. Maxine Waters, (D., Calif.), didn’t even bother to do her homework on how to pronounce the name of Chrysler’s parent company, Cerberus (a Wall Street investment firm). Waters repeatedly pronounced it “Cerebus.”

Dave Sim, call your office.

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That’ll Leave A Mark

December 8, 2008

Andrew Breitbart:

Mrs. Clinton ignored the sexism and sexual assault the photo projected and accepted Mr. Favreau’s apology through her spokesman Philippe Reines, who weirdly joked, “Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application.”

This is not the first time, of course, that Mrs. Clinton has saved a man from exceedingly bad behavior with women. In fact, it’s her signature skill.

As we sometimes say down in these parts, “Dang.”

I Did Not Think The Girl Could Be So Cruel

February 18, 2008

Michelle Obama committed the first really serious blunder of her husband’s campaign today:

“For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country,” she told a Milwaukee crowd today, “because it feels like hope is making a comeback.”

Oh yeah, that’ll make a winning slogan in November–if your spouse is running for mayor of Berkeley. President of the United States? Not so much.

Dr. Butt, Your 9:30 Extraction Is Ready

September 18, 2007

From the UK Daily Mail:

A muslim dentist made a woman wear Islamic dress as the price of accepting her as an NHS patient, it is alleged.

Omer Butt is said to have told the patient that unless she wore a headscarf she would have to find another practice.

Later this month, Mr Butt will appear before a General Dental Council professional misconduct hearing, which has the power to strike him off.

Now, let’s give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s not really a stuck-in-the-seventh-century Islamic nutbag. It could be that he’s just awfully irked about being named “Mr. Butt.” Go ahead, read all those references to “Mr. Butt” in the article without snickering–I dare you.

Alternately, perhaps he’s just peeved that the Daily Mail didn’t refer to him as “Dr. Butt”: “I didn’t spend three years in Islamic Fanatic Dental School to be called ‘mister,’ thank you very much.”

Ah, well. At least he’s not a proctologist.

Cum On Feel The Noize

June 5, 2007

Here’s one I wouldn’t have predicted: Barack Obama goes after the 80’s Hair Band vote.

Steve Jobs, I Dare You

May 29, 2007

From C-Net:

Apple co-founder Steve Jobs and Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates will share a stage [Wednesday, May 30] at the D: All Things Digital tech conference in California next week for a 75-minute joint interview.

Besides a brief shared appearance at an Apple event in 1983, the two have never appeared together in public before.

Steve, I dare you–no, I double-dog dare you to walk onto that stage and say, “Hi, I’m a Mac, and he’s a P.C.” while pointing at Gates.

C’mon, man, the little dork would flip out. Besides, nobody can turn down a double-dog dare.

UPDATE: Okay, maybe you can turn down a double-dog dare.

At any rate (and in all seriousness), it looks like the Jobs-Gates summit yielded a fascinating discussion. Here’s Engadget’s running blog on the talk, which is a bit jagged (not a criticism, transcribing something like this “live” is a tough job), but still a great read. Thanks to commenter “vitaboy” for the link and the heads-up.

Admiral Painter In ’08

March 21, 2007

I have no idea whether the guy would actually be a good president, or even a good candidate, but you have to admit, the perfect slogan has already been written:

Fred08.jpg

Please Tell Me He’s Selling Short

January 29, 2007

What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?!?

The Huffington Post reports that Stephen Green has agreed to bail Air America out of bankruptcy.

Okay, so I left out a little bit. But still. Kind of freaked me out.

A Prediction

July 19, 2006

Lileks is going to go into jealousy-induced shock when he sees this site.

Beauty. Everyone Say, “Beauty.”

June 23, 2006

The Blogfaddah makes a “Strange Brew” reference.

That’s beauty, eh. You really can’t get enough Bob & Doug if you ask me. And for more Canadian comedy, click here, you knob.